Ex-Porting

So, in celebration that today is my birthday i am slipping into my birthday suit and revealing exactly what a Craig Shadow looks like...

its the tan line on one's ass that shows how often i have been porting...

Happy Birthday to me:-D

Pride

The most obvious one, Pride, you know, that scrawny mincing fairy twink that marches past

with her cheekbones protruding from sucking in her cheeks. That Mary that wont let you touch their hair but will try pull into you any second she gets. She’s a vixen, often tall, totally fierce, on the prowl or rather prowling prey. It’s the confused Impala waiting with her ass in the air ready to be taken by the strongest lion.

There is also the hot Jock-I-cock-block-myself guy. Uber hot and oh how he knows it. The guy waiting for something hot but guess what, he’s it and like a wolf in a sheep pen he needs to pick off all the ‘healthy’ sheep, one by one.

A room with mirrors all round the bed, two men’s bodies thrust together in the dimmed light, bronzed skin dripping with tiny beads of sweat that glimmer in the light, muscles that twist and turn with every thrust. He only sees himself. He watches himself in the mirrors. Does he feel it? Can he feel the man he is with? Is it love? Is it sex? Can he feel either one?

Till Next time

Happy Hunting!

Picture: digitalart.org/.../ seven-deadly-sins-vanity/

Poem: Untitled

The robot is red

but all i see is green

Lost in love

lost in romance

lost in a lie?

like a new city I wonder round

aimlessly

Sights fascinate

Buildings mesmerize

Everything is new

but new must be explored.

Get Lost in love

learn from love

....because I do

Smell love

because i do

feel love

like i do

you will loose your way out

because i did.

Loving you

missing you

and missing loving you...

how do i get out?

The Seven Deadly Sins

So, as a barman you tend to be real observant of the patrons you serve. I definitely take a keen interest in the sexual psychology behind why we as gay men do what we do. How all of us can be so sexually different in preference yet at the core we can all behave so primal. When did we go from animalistic to just plain animals?

Sexually we all answer to one, some or all of the seven deadly sins which often proves detrimental to our minds, bodies or souls.

I have payed attention to others and allowed myself to get swallowed whole in playing this little game, a game mainly because it proved to be more about fun than love or even passion. I do understand that one can have amazing sex with someone you cant remember or even stand but the older i get, the more I realise that I am just a little romantic kid that tends to live more in fantasy rather than reality. Often my fantasy is blown up in my pretty little face from a heavy dose of reality and in this situation it happened on a few occasions and I got burnt real bad.

Mind, body and soul!!!

So, firstly, be smart and cover up, rubber down and protect your body, it really is the easiest of the three to protect. The other two will be more tricky.

And after that lets get into my new little mini-series…

So, what we are going to do is pretend we’re writing a script and this is our character breakdown section in our writing treatment. We will list the type of ‘sin’ and how this can be seen stereotypically and then we can put together a small scene with an explosive event and the emotion that should come after, well you can just decide. A little bit of interactive script writing through blogging!

http://www.tatt2.co.za/

Porting

So, the season was just crazy busy. I got up to so much that with time you will get to hear about it all...

but for now im just going to share what a beach life vibe is all about. Porting is my new word for strutting on beaches in my mini bikini

panty because its not a speedo, its a Craig Port and so far I have been seen porting all over.

Where have

you been porting this

summer...?

The move to Cape Town

So, whats a Joburg boy to do when he packs his bags into his car and journeys down south to the mother city for no particular reason other than he wants to...

One month earlier, my lover dumped me. I spent most of the time

pushing weights and watching old episodes of Sex and the City but as the month came to an end I decided it was time for change. There were no pieces for me to pick up because I believed that nothing was broken, I believed he still loved me, I believed we just needed time apart to let the bruises heal. So I moved to Cape Town to be closer to him and also to make a break for a new

life, new adventures and a summer in Cape Town.

I looked for an apartment and found one after searching for one the entire day.

I decided I wanted to go see my lover to see if things were passed the point of no return... and he made it into one of the most awkward evenings I have ever had, so I decided maybe it was best to focus on myself and forget about him.

I tried some meaningless sex, went on a few dates and I did meet one guy

that was really amazing. So i invited him to join me on this halloween party. I was all dressed up like a devil with no clothes. I had the tan and pushing the weights definitely payed off so I was on top form. We were

having a good time until my ex worked in. At that point I was already hammered but the sight of him made me smile from ear to ear that I had to hug him hello, unfortunately that was bad form because I was kinda on a date. The date turned to me, said he didn't want to be a rebound and left before I could say anything.

So I was left, alone, rushing my tits off and being hit on every man that grabbed the opportunity. I still could not resist the fact that I was still in love with him. Now maybe its the outfit, or the fact that I was having a great time but he was drawn to me and after a few drinks he turned to me and asked me to take him to my place. I jumped at the opportunity.

I was totally aware that this might mean nothing but I wanted him none the less. The rest will

sort itself out later.

So, follow your heart guys, its better to be sorry than be safe!

Happy hunting!

Baggage

With every step it ways me down

When every breath is not enough.

Lighten the load

Lighten the stress

and lose a little more

of what I need

of who I am.

Am I a bag?

am I to carry it with me

through adolescence,

till age wares down my heavy feet

my heavy legs

my heavy hands.

A heavy head rests on heavy shoulders,

a neck too tight to breath.

Loosen two boots to bare two skin covered feet forced to walk the streets naked.

I am not a bag

I am not a bag!

The queens from the men

So, I have started working at a bar in Cape Town.  Last night I had a guy come in looking for a friend which I told him he can't come in to look for him without paying.  He started to go off on a rant about what a bastard his friend is, how he hopes he rots in hell and that if I see him I should relay the message to him.  

Now in my mind all I wanted to do was get rid of this guy so that the customers coming in weren't greeted by negativity.  With great difficulty I managed to do this.  Eventually at closing time, around 2am, I went off to Bronx for a little drink, or two.

Once a Prince song comes on I made my way to the odd corner dance floor and who do I notice on the bar counter dancing like hookers on the stripper pole, these two men that earlier just confessed how much they hate each other.  I couldn't help but laugh!

I don't think all gays are like this.  Yes I can be very dramatic myself but the idea of confessing my hate to a complete stranger only to lick the the man I hate's back a few hours later on a bar counter is just unheard of.  I don't hold onto a grudge but I would not use words like that lightly or frivolously either.    I just had to share this...

What goes up must come down.

So, here i am in sunny Cape Town. New place, new job, new ventures. Unfortunately I am finding it rather hard to pick up the pieces of my little broken heart. My ex and I hooked up over the weekend which was absolutely amazing. Now I dont know if he was just in the mood to get with me seeing how I was looking smoking hot. I have hope for us.

He is like no one I have ever met. Granted we hit a rough patch but does that mean that the relationship is broken or just bruised. Do I now play it cool, calm and collected when deep in my heart all I want is to know that we are together. I miss him like crazy. Its difficult to concentrate on anything else whole heartedly when I just want to hold him again, touch his face while he sleeps, smell the back of his neck when he turns around in bed and pulls my arms tighter around him.

Its a tricky situation or is it just a game...

Paris Gay Pride

So, I still love a Joburg pride. Maybe its because its my home, my place I have been fighting to be Gay, my people, my kinda party but I just do.

Paris pride was huge, loads of men everywhere but I didn't have

that same sense of

actual pride here. I never thought that I would be able to see a collection of gay men in an area that was so different from the ones I know. the difference in culture, like the different gay cultures and not the bear from the twink type cultures. I am not saying that either one is better, I'm saying I know the culture I fit into. this one, here, in South Africa with you guys:-)

I want to say I love being a South African queer!!! You guys rock!

So in the end I did party in the streets, dancing behind a truck with some awesome music... and had my little camera with me all the way!

Slow march now back to London, Heathrow airport.

This brings me to the end of my Euro trip. i finally had the time to write down everything I was jotting down in a little journal of mine.

So when i get the time again I'll fill you in on the drama that was the last month of my life until now.

Till then

Happy hunting:-)