Beautiful Thing

It’s a coming of age story told in true Brit fashion riddled with dry humour and oh such a gem to watch.  If you have not seen it you should, but get it for like a Tuesday night vibe because it really isn’t mind-blowing filmmaking here.  I could blobber (that’s is blogging blabber) on about the film and its story but I like to relate a film or a certain aspect of it to something in my life or life in general.  That way I feel the film has moved closer towards something more than just entertainment and it is really art.

 It’s the scene at the end of “Beautiful Thing” where the one boy asks the other to dance right there in the courtyard of the apartment block because they are leaving it and going towards new beginning and all that jazz.  Here is the vital life lesson I carry with me - if two boys can hold each other and dance in front of people because they love each other then two grown men in love, especially in gay Cape Town 2011, should be able to swap a loving kiss in a grocery store.  However, you will be surprised how many of us, as gay men, are reluctant to show public affection in innocent surroundings such as a Spar. When did we become embarrassed of ourselves, our lovers and our love? 

To find a man that sees nothing else but you and plants a sweet kiss on your tender lips while you stretch your arm out for that liter jug of full cream milk… is that not love?  How can one sit back and preach love when that love can only transcend into something tender behind closed doors or in a dark and seedy gay bar?  To me that sort of shying away from affection in the ‘straight’ public reads completely as embarrassment.  Especially when one of the men in such a relationship is completely affectionate and devoid of self-awareness in terms of his love being the ‘other’ based merely on the fact that it is two men.

 

Where do we draw the line between public indecency and public affection?  And to me that is where my point pops its silly little head up.  I think the word public is irrelevant as it should really be about two people, the man reaching for the milk and the other man staring at him as he reaches for that milk.  Now I am not about to rip off my shirt and give a man a lap dance on the processed meats nor would I condone it… well unless it’s just me looking, but the idea that someone can look at me doing a pretty ordinary thing such as grocery shopping and be helpless to stop himself from kissing me is intoxicating.  It is captivating.  How can you not find the whole idea completely delicious?  That sort of sexual rush leaves me feeling inebriated to the maximum and I would love it if it were ever to happen to me… but does it take a man confident in his own sexuality to pull it off or is it purely based on how intoxicating he finds you?  Maybe it is the combination of the two and we need both in order to forget whoever is looking...

 

Life is just too short guys and maybe you might want to open yourself up and consider holding the man’s hand, hey.  Because Love is a Beautiful Thing!  Don't shy away from it!

Poster art and Book covers... decisions, decisions.

 We go through life making decisions based on the fact that we think that the outcome will be best for us, for our own personal growth and development and our general well being.  Our outward appearance sometimes plays a part in what those closest to us think of us.  In love, should an appearance ever hinder your impression of a lover?  Can we make decisions based on this?  How do we know what is the right decision, and the hurt that can come from that said decision, will it leave us with a feeling of remorse?

In relationships we often find ourselves in a situation where we have to decide on a route of action.  More often than not we regret our decisions based on the “What could have been principle”, but are we too proud to admit we were wrong?  Does life have to change in admitting our mistakes?  Or is it just part of growing up?  When did our pride override our hearts? 

I have a friend who I we met a long time ago when I started following her blog and she is madly in love with a man,.  He is absolutely dreamy; handsome, smart, attentive and devoted.  She just recently broke up with him because she feels he does not see her for the person she really is.  She blames her blog.  She feels her writing left more of an imprint on him than she ever could.  Can an impression leave a lasting imprint on a persons mind?  Do we fall in love with the idea of a person?  And can love ever-just break all barriers, transform opinions and reshape an ideal of our universe?   

This kick started a chain of thoughts; is my appearance making a clear depiction of the person I am, is my writing closer to the real Juanne-Pierre than I would like to admit and are people ever really willing to get to know a person without any prejudices or judgments? 

My tattoos are distinctive and personalized to suite a certain aspect in my life that I have lived through and learnt from.  They reflect something very personal to me however, are the tattoos a representation of a person a little far removed from the person I am and can something as unique as an individual’s personal choice in appearance really juxtapose the person we are actually trying to reflect?   So how far apart is the man I am, the man I want to be and the man I appear to be?

If I were to be a writer, would I have to reflect an image that says I can write?  Would no tattoos, a softer mid section and fuzzy hair imply that I sit in front of my mac all day writing, ergo I am a writer?  Or have we as society misplaced the sense of propriety in terms of the image should fit the profession?

In the end I believe we are all multi faceted individuals who choose to express ourselves in different forms.  Do we choose to express all of these facets in our outward appearance or just one?  If I look at myself I would say I am a writer, photographer, hiker, swimmer, film buff, short story reader, smoker, stoner, very sexual … now which of these would I choose to portray and why?

I chose the one that involves someone else.  And by that I mean, I portray the aspect of myself that actually requires another person and not something I do alone.  In high insight I read alone, watch film alone and critique them, write on my own and read, smoke alone, get high alone and take my camera out and about alone.  Therefore my sexual nature was the one I acted on.  Is this the best portrayal of what exactly I have to offer… maybe what I have to offer on one particular night.

I still believe never to judge a book by its cover however you can judge a film based on the poster, so the real trick is differentiating between the people that are films or books in life.