True Blood - All Over My Face

It begins with a bang.  I am hooked as soon as Vampire Bill and the sexy shape shifting Sam brush an almost-almost without their shirts on.  And then to follow it up, the show has these nude werewolves saturate the screen at one point with their beefy, hairy, manly vibe totally oozing off my little flat screen into my eyes and seeping to the back of my brain.  As a man I am sure you can imagine how absolutely delighted I was to be seeing so much blatant agenda pushing… right?  That is what we, as men, all love – nudity.  That is what makes a truly good television program, albeit male nudity these days, but who’s complaining.

Cut back to the story, Bill has been kidnapped after proposing to his love… ah, how beautiful.  Who gives a shit really… I want the chase, the adventure and the fight for love.  I always believed anything that is easy to get is probably not really worth having, so in that regard if it were easy they would not have called it love.

It’s not about that white picket fence, the two and a half children or the giant house with rolling lawns.  That is not what I dream of when I think of loving someone and therefore True Blood always hits close to my little heart.  Granted it is blown out of proportion and that is not exactly a clear indication of the life/love I chase but it represents something cool that appeals.  The chase, the wild sex, the unconditional love, the adventure, the wild sex, the mystery, the passion and the wild sex.  I could do that for the rest of my life. 

And now we get back to the greatest love story still being told… so he has gone missing and with that turn of events the small, meek and bright eyed Sookie has to search for her lover.  Loving the stereotypical gender bending they are doing here.  She finds him, they run, he eats, she leaves, they cry, he fights and then they make love again!  Deliciouso! 

One of my favorite bits, a vampire says to Eric “We have been together so long, how can it be ending so quick?”  It’s a favorite because it got me thinking about so much when it comes to relationships.  It is so true how we can spend so much time with someone but the end is always the same, sudden, and we are all left wondering why did we not have more time together?  Why did we not make more of the time we had together? And why does it have to end?

So, at the risk of sounding too gay I am going to give you three reasons I dig Sookie Stackhouse (and I have tried to relate to a man in the show however they all want a piece of her… ergo I want to be her LMAO):

One - “Sookie is MINE!!!” he says with his dark and sexy voice every once in a while and I am totally turned on by that kind of possession even if it is a case of using manipulation to make her fall for him.

Two - If I am a fairy and Sookie is a fairy… then A should equal B, correct? 

Three – She has a dark side, a very dark side.  Not only is she in love with a dead guy, a man that can drain her of her life and a man who cheated his way into her heart and her life but by the end of season three she is busy disposing the remains of a vampire down a garbage disposal which is really out of the bright shining light character. 

Damn, this show is so hot right now!  And that is season three done for me.

Beautiful Thing

It’s a coming of age story told in true Brit fashion riddled with dry humour and oh such a gem to watch.  If you have not seen it you should, but get it for like a Tuesday night vibe because it really isn’t mind-blowing filmmaking here.  I could blobber (that’s is blogging blabber) on about the film and its story but I like to relate a film or a certain aspect of it to something in my life or life in general.  That way I feel the film has moved closer towards something more than just entertainment and it is really art.

 It’s the scene at the end of “Beautiful Thing” where the one boy asks the other to dance right there in the courtyard of the apartment block because they are leaving it and going towards new beginning and all that jazz.  Here is the vital life lesson I carry with me - if two boys can hold each other and dance in front of people because they love each other then two grown men in love, especially in gay Cape Town 2011, should be able to swap a loving kiss in a grocery store.  However, you will be surprised how many of us, as gay men, are reluctant to show public affection in innocent surroundings such as a Spar. When did we become embarrassed of ourselves, our lovers and our love? 

To find a man that sees nothing else but you and plants a sweet kiss on your tender lips while you stretch your arm out for that liter jug of full cream milk… is that not love?  How can one sit back and preach love when that love can only transcend into something tender behind closed doors or in a dark and seedy gay bar?  To me that sort of shying away from affection in the ‘straight’ public reads completely as embarrassment.  Especially when one of the men in such a relationship is completely affectionate and devoid of self-awareness in terms of his love being the ‘other’ based merely on the fact that it is two men.

 

Where do we draw the line between public indecency and public affection?  And to me that is where my point pops its silly little head up.  I think the word public is irrelevant as it should really be about two people, the man reaching for the milk and the other man staring at him as he reaches for that milk.  Now I am not about to rip off my shirt and give a man a lap dance on the processed meats nor would I condone it… well unless it’s just me looking, but the idea that someone can look at me doing a pretty ordinary thing such as grocery shopping and be helpless to stop himself from kissing me is intoxicating.  It is captivating.  How can you not find the whole idea completely delicious?  That sort of sexual rush leaves me feeling inebriated to the maximum and I would love it if it were ever to happen to me… but does it take a man confident in his own sexuality to pull it off or is it purely based on how intoxicating he finds you?  Maybe it is the combination of the two and we need both in order to forget whoever is looking...

 

Life is just too short guys and maybe you might want to open yourself up and consider holding the man’s hand, hey.  Because Love is a Beautiful Thing!  Don't shy away from it!

Are We Ever Really Looking?

Here is my article in this months Exit:

In Cape Town, a city that acts like a doorway in which the entire world passes through during summer, we are left wondering how many viable possibilities are there to fall in love?  When beautiful men from all over the globe crowd our city streets like a battalion of sardines during the July rush, the options for variety are insurmountable however is love ever an option?  Are holiday romances devoid of any emotional attachment or affiliation?  Or is that romance as real as a glossy blood red toffee apple at Ratanga Junction, sweet, delicious and a must-have but when it’s devoured it is devoured.  When looking for love, are we ever really looking?

If our love is like a well and each man that comes along has some water, will there be any left for the man that deserves the water?  Similarly, should we be so careless as to take others water just because we can?  In relationships the water is passed back and forth which keeps both wells full.  In a codependent relationship, one will always be taking more and not replenishing.  However, some men offer too much water and never take any back for themselves.  With all this back and forth and tug of war, we are left to believe that a relationship is based on a give and take method, and this made me think of sex.  Does sex ever really mean more when it is with someone you love?  In a time where no one has affairs to remember, where asking for a name comes at the end of coming, and kissing on the mouth is debatable I wonder, when did we take the road to perdition?  Why have we all forsaken passion for lust? And when did Tiffany stop serving Breakfast?

I have two contrasting stories for you:

Two boys met in a club, both the same age, both partying like crazy and both smolderingly good looking.  One thing led to another and then by the end of the night they were back at one of the guys’ home.  They fell asleep.  They did not have sex.  The next few days they got together and went for lunches and made out like teenagers but waited to have sex.  When that night finally arrived they fumbled over each other, things were awkward and it was just bad sex.  Is this the red light?  Is this a sign? And should they have waited till now? 

The other couple met in a bar.  They hooked up the first night they met and both of them thought it would be left there.  One was a notorious twinkiniser, successful, mature, refined and the other was a thrifty boy with a quick wit and gorgeous smile. Their chance encounter was to be the mature mans fun and the thrifty boys rebound, however their minds would prove them wrong.  Thinking about each other everyday the two could not resist the pull of the other.  What started out as a rebound/fun turned into real love… Is this just a fairytale?  Would the point that they fell in love be different if I told you that today they are not together?  Does a companionship need to be everlasting in order for the love to be considered real?  And does sex ever really play apart in determining what a relationships outcome will be?

We have all given up the quest for love and adopted a quest to climax, abandoned osculation for mutual masturbation and forsook the bond between two men for the bondage of three.  Has the diary of dating decorum been lost on our generation or is the idea of two men dating before tea bagging just lame.

In a city notorious for one-night stands and dark bar hook-ups, of quick relationships and relentless chasing, of beach time bonking and sweaty sauna sex, I threw down the gauntlet and went to watch a movie on my own.  I walked to the Labia, bought my ticket, scooped up some popcorn and relished in the relationship I have.  The one I have spent twenty-eight years building. We are far too important to give ourselves away to any man that asks, and when we spend time alone we remember just how important we are.

Dinner and a movie me up guys!  I am old school that way and show me an old school man that can hold down his lascivious nature and his licentious mind and replace it with chivalry and restraint.  Where has the romance gone?  Where have all the good men gone?  Where’s that street wise Hercules to fight the rising odds?

It is all about waiting and not about looking.  Love affirmations are about putting love out there and not putting our bodies out there.  To restrain from lust for love is very difficult.  To hold back pleasure for purpose can prove challenging.  Can it be done?  And is it really worth it?  We need to want love in order to get it because wanting provides the fuel we all need to achieve.

Sex Pigs, Speedos and the Perfect Fit.

Stretched out on the hot sand, I stare out at all the men in their different speedos.  The cut of the tight brief swimming shorts frames an ass to perfection and then there are times when it is less than desirable.  This got me thinking about relationships.  How would Lycra be a comparison for relationships?  When it’s not a perfect fit then it’s a complete disaster. 

Spending some time outside my usual box I was invited, by Greg, to join him at a pig party.  Now my impression of a Pig Party was a party where you paid a cover charge and then drank till you were slaughtered.  I had misgivings purely based on that fact, but I was somewhat mollified when I was informed that it was not what was expected.  Goodie!  I enjoy something new; it’s like the first time in a lecture hall, so enthusiastic, ready to take in everything.  So, ready with my pen in my hand I accompanied Greg to the Pig Party.

I wanted to know what to wear but apparently a kit is required not really an outfit.  Nude bar!  Damn, I forgot about those.  So clothes off and in we go.

It’s a very dark bar and for some time I was very disorientated.  Did we come up stairs?  Which way is the street?  Ok, then where is the mountain?  I could not get my bearings but I assume that was part of the appeal.

Masters and slaves and a sex pig roaming around.  Was this entertainment?  Is this a thrill to some people?  Have we evolved to this, degradation and humiliation as ways of stimulation?  And then, just when I was about to cast myself into the barrel of prudes, it happened.  A slave had accidentally been stepped on - well what did he expect rolling on the floor - nonetheless, he was stepped on and his master tended to him.  I could here him speak softly…”Lover, can I take you home?”  “No, I am fine.” “I’m taking you home, you are hurt my baby…” and he picked him up off of the floor and took him home.

Was I being too judgemental?  Did I miss the whole point?  Hidden amongst the dark, the smell of lube, the taste of leather and the loud music was a couple.  Was this a catalyst for their foreplay or were they just bored one night and decided this would be fun?  In the end I could see two people that fit, like a speedo.  It may not have been my cut and it was a little dark but it fit perfectly for them, and that my dear readers is a beautiful thing.

Sunset Cruises Down the Peninsula.

So, what does seem to be aimed towards tourists can still be amazing to do even if you are a local.

Now I enjoy almost any sunset

booze cruise. The water, the sun, the fine chilled drinks, its just one of my favorite things to do, from

Saartjies se aartjie cruising up and down the Orange river in Upington to the cruise along the 12

Apostles here in the Cape, its a goodie!

I have been watching this pirate ship move down the coast almost every sunset from the balcony of my new home in Seapoint. I just loved the whole setting as cheezy as it may be. It looked like the

most fabulous boat to be on and my lover decided to take me on the pirate ship one fine evening.

The weather was perfect, I wore velvet and the champagne flowed freely and through me. I was extremely plastered by the time we had to get off but the sunset the mountains the sky the light the land the buildings the water the seals the birds...it was all burnt forever into my brain and onto my soul. Its completely worth anyones while. so if you find yourself at the V&A one evening around 17h00, hop on and enjoy the scene.

The move to Cape Town

So, whats a Joburg boy to do when he packs his bags into his car and journeys down south to the mother city for no particular reason other than he wants to...

One month earlier, my lover dumped me. I spent most of the time

pushing weights and watching old episodes of Sex and the City but as the month came to an end I decided it was time for change. There were no pieces for me to pick up because I believed that nothing was broken, I believed he still loved me, I believed we just needed time apart to let the bruises heal. So I moved to Cape Town to be closer to him and also to make a break for a new

life, new adventures and a summer in Cape Town.

I looked for an apartment and found one after searching for one the entire day.

I decided I wanted to go see my lover to see if things were passed the point of no return... and he made it into one of the most awkward evenings I have ever had, so I decided maybe it was best to focus on myself and forget about him.

I tried some meaningless sex, went on a few dates and I did meet one guy

that was really amazing. So i invited him to join me on this halloween party. I was all dressed up like a devil with no clothes. I had the tan and pushing the weights definitely payed off so I was on top form. We were

having a good time until my ex worked in. At that point I was already hammered but the sight of him made me smile from ear to ear that I had to hug him hello, unfortunately that was bad form because I was kinda on a date. The date turned to me, said he didn't want to be a rebound and left before I could say anything.

So I was left, alone, rushing my tits off and being hit on every man that grabbed the opportunity. I still could not resist the fact that I was still in love with him. Now maybe its the outfit, or the fact that I was having a great time but he was drawn to me and after a few drinks he turned to me and asked me to take him to my place. I jumped at the opportunity.

I was totally aware that this might mean nothing but I wanted him none the less. The rest will

sort itself out later.

So, follow your heart guys, its better to be sorry than be safe!

Happy hunting!