Sunday, February 28, 2010


Wrath comes in waves. No one ever walks around, aggressive, looking to fight, I guess the way straight boys do in the far East Rand but hell, when a queen is pissed a scene will follow. From the bitchy fairies to the muscle marys. I have seen it all. Beer bottles thrown at heads, lovers riding over lovers with their cars, bites that draw blood and a tetanus shot is needed and slaps across a face that echo threw a hallway.
Anger burns in all of us like soft pilot light waiting to burn brighter and boil the water, it only takes one person or an incident to make it explode.

He is a total product of his emotions and when he gets angry it can be so over the top and dramatic. He stands in the misty sauna, watching the love of his life in close embrace with someone totally subpar. He struggles to see sex as just sex when he has been making love for so long, he struggles to understand especially because he is there willing and waiting to be that man in the close embrace. He tries to be a cool boyfriend and looks the other way but that pilot light of anger is starting to burn. He goes back to the misty surrounding with random men. He pushes them against the wall and fucks them, rough, hard, forceful. He is trying to get the anger out.
But he is really just angry with himself, he is hurting himself, how can he allow someone to treat him with so little respect, how can he allow a person make him feel so undervalued.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


So, here are some of my dear friends out Porting with me... gotta love the summer yo'!

Barman Doodle of the week!

Psychological mind fucking

This is a little more rough, be prepared before you read it...

I fucked them rough from behind
They stood up,
holding the wall.
They moaned in pleasure
I thrust ed in pain
I wanted to hurt them
Like he hurt me
I saw him bent over.
I saw another man inside of him.
Now I go back to that spot
with different men.
I picture him,
a piece of me dies
as I fuck them from behind.


So, in celebration that today is my birthday i am slipping into my birthday suit and revealing exactly what a Craig Shadow looks like...

its the tan line on one's ass that shows how often i have been porting...
Happy Birthday to me:-D


The most obvious one, Pride, you know, that scrawny mincing fairy twink that marches past

with her cheekbones protruding from sucking in her cheeks. That Mary that wont let you touch their hair but will try pull into you any second she gets. She’s a vixen, often tall, totally fierce, on the prowl or rather prowling prey. It’s the confused Impala waiting with her ass in the air ready to be taken by the strongest lion.

There is also the hot Jock-I-cock-block-myself guy. Uber hot and oh how he knows it. The guy waiting for something hot but guess what, he’s it and like a wolf in a sheep pen he needs to pick off all the ‘healthy’ sheep, one by one.

A room with mirrors all round the bed, two men’s bodies thrust together in the dimmed light, bronzed skin dripping with tiny beads of sweat that glimmer in the light, muscles that twist and turn with every thrust. He only sees himself. He watches himself in the mirrors. Does he feel it? Can he feel the man he is with? Is it love? Is it sex? Can he feel either one?

Till Next time

Happy Hunting!

Picture: seven-deadly-sins-vanity/

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Poem: Untitled

The robot is red
but all i see is green
Lost in love
lost in romance
lost in a lie?
like a new city I wonder round
Sights fascinate
Buildings mesmerize
Everything is new
but new must be explored.
Get Lost in love
learn from love
....because I do
Smell love
because i do
feel love
like i do
you will loose your way out
because i did.
Loving you
missing you
and missing loving you...
how do i get out?

Monday, February 8, 2010

The Seven Deadly Sins

So, as a barman you tend to be real observant of the patrons you serve. I definitely take a keen interest in the sexual psychology behind why we as gay men do what we do. How all of us can be so sexually different in preference yet at the core we can all behave so primal. When did we go from animalistic to just plain animals?

Sexually we all answer to one, some or all of the seven deadly sins which often proves detrimental to our minds, bodies or souls.

I have payed attention to others and allowed myself to get swallowed whole in playing this little game, a game mainly because it proved to be more about fun than love or even passion. I do understand that one can have amazing sex with someone you cant remember or even stand but the older i get, the more I realise that I am just a little romantic kid that tends to live more in fantasy rather than reality. Often my fantasy is blown up in my pretty little face from a heavy dose of reality and in this situation it happened on a few occasions and I got burnt real bad.

Mind, body and soul!!!

So, firstly, be smart and cover up, rubber down and protect your body, it really is the easiest of the three to protect. The other two will be more tricky.

And after that lets get into my new little mini-series…

So, what we are going to do is pretend we’re writing a script and this is our character breakdown section in our writing treatment. We will list the type of ‘sin’ and how this can be seen stereotypically and then we can put together a small scene with an explosive event and the emotion that should come after, well you can just decide. A little bit of interactive script writing through blogging!

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