Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The move to Cape Town

So, whats a Joburg boy to do when he packs his bags into his car and journeys down south to the mother city for no particular reason other than he wants to...

One month earlier, my lover dumped me. I spent most of the time

pushing weights and watching old episodes of Sex and the City but as the month came to an end I decided it was time for change. There were no pieces for me to pick up because I believed that nothing was broken, I believed he still loved me, I believed we just needed time apart to let the bruises heal. So I moved to Cape Town to be closer to him and also to make a break for a new
life, new adventures and a summer in Cape Town.

I looked for an apartment and found one after searching for one the entire day.

I decided I wanted to go see my lover to see if things were passed the point of no return... and he made it into one of the most awkward evenings I have ever had, so I decided maybe it was best to focus on myself and forget about him.

I tried some meaningless sex, went on a few dates and I did meet one guy
that was really amazing. So i invited him to join me on this halloween party. I was all dressed up like a devil with no clothes. I had the tan and pushing the weights definitely payed off so I was on top form. We were
having a good time until my ex worked in. At that point I was already hammered but the sight of him made me smile from ear to ear that I had to hug him hello, unfortunately that was bad form because I was kinda on a date. The date turned to me, said he didn't want to be a rebound and left before I could say anything.

So I was left, alone, rushing my tits off and being hit on every man that grabbed the opportunity. I still could not resist the fact that I was still in love with him. Now maybe its the outfit, or the fact that I was having a great time but he was drawn to me and after a few drinks he turned to me and asked me to take him to my place. I jumped at the opportunity.

I was totally aware that this might mean nothing but I wanted him none the less. The rest will
sort itself out later.



So, follow your heart guys, its better to be sorry than be safe!

Happy hunting!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Baggage

With every step it ways me down
When every breath is not enough.
Lighten the load
Lighten the stress
and lose a little more
of what I need
of who I am.

Am I a bag?
am I to carry it with me
through adolescence,
till age wares down my heavy feet
my heavy legs
my heavy hands.
A heavy head rests on heavy shoulders,
a neck too tight to breath.

Loosen two boots to bare two skin covered feet forced to walk the streets naked.

I am not a bag
I am not a bag!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The queens from the men

So, I have started working at a bar in Cape Town.  Last night I had a guy come in looking for a friend which I told him he can't come in to look for him without paying.  He started to go off on a rant about what a bastard his friend is, how he hopes he rots in hell and that if I see him I should relay the message to him.  

Now in my mind all I wanted to do was get rid of this guy so that the customers coming in weren't greeted by negativity.  With great difficulty I managed to do this.  Eventually at closing time, around 2am, I went off to Bronx for a little drink, or two.

Once a Prince song comes on I made my way to the odd corner dance floor and who do I notice on the bar counter dancing like hookers on the stripper pole, these two men that earlier just confessed how much they hate each other.  I couldn't help but laugh!

I don't think all gays are like this.  Yes I can be very dramatic myself but the idea of confessing my hate to a complete stranger only to lick the the man I hate's back a few hours later on a bar counter is just unheard of.  I don't hold onto a grudge but I would not use words like that lightly or frivolously either.    I just had to share this...

Thursday, November 5, 2009

What goes up must come down.


So, here i am in sunny Cape Town. New place, new job, new ventures. Unfortunately I am finding it rather hard to pick up the pieces of my little broken heart. My ex and I hooked up over the weekend which was absolutely amazing. Now I dont know if he was just in the mood to get with me seeing how I was looking smoking hot. I have hope for us.
He is like no one I have ever met. Granted we hit a rough patch but does that mean that the relationship is broken or just bruised. Do I now play it cool, calm and collected when deep in my heart all I want is to know that we are together. I miss him like crazy. Its difficult to concentrate on anything else whole heartedly when I just want to hold him again, touch his face while he sleeps, smell the back of his neck when he turns around in bed and pulls my arms tighter around him.

Its a tricky situation or is it just a game...

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Paris Gay Pride


So, I still love a Joburg pride. Maybe its because its my home, my place I have been fighting to be Gay, my people, my kinda party but I just do.

Paris pride was huge, loads of men everywhere but I didn't have
that same sense of
actual pride here. I never thought that I would be able to see a collection of gay men in an area that was so different from the ones I know. the difference in culture, like the different gay cultures and not the bear from the twink type cultures. I am not saying that either one is better, I'm saying I know the culture I fit into. this one, here, in South Africa with you guys:-)
I want to say I love being a South African queer!!! You guys rock!

So in the end I did party in the streets, dancing behind a truck with some awesome music... and had my little camera with me all the way!


Slow march now back to London, Heathrow airport.

This brings me to the end of my Euro trip. i finally had the time to write down everything I was jotting down in a little journal of mine.

So when i get the time again I'll fill you in on the drama that was the last month of my life until now.

Till then
Happy hunting:-)
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