Duffy - Well, Well, Well

Mr Gay SA and a Cruise Ship

So, I found myself on the MSC Sinfonia on route into the middle of the coastline of Mozambique, Imhambane, along with a bunch of gay men and the 12 finalists for the Mr Gay SA competition. And before I get into the details of my own experience on this floating hotel in the sea I thought I might share what I thought of all the contestants. For anyone who is really interested in if the guys representing are in fact representatives and role models or is it just a question of how hot you are? Being part of the cruise and going alone and being so painfully observant of people, I took in what they were saying (the administrators) of how the contestants are judged on the trip as it apparently counts 50% of their total score. I am not a judge, a coordinator or in away in control or have anything to do with this competition. I feel I represent most of the gay guys out there who feel that maybe a beauty pageant should be left up to women? So I represent you and I set out to try find someone I would want to represent me...us!

So, I tried to talk to each one of them

Errol Stroebel, did not speak two words to the man. I think I said hi at the bar but there was no conversation so I dont know what he is like at all. Pretty eyes, sincere when he talks (publicly) but thats as far as I can judge.






Tshepo Chuenyane, lovely man, very shy but extremely polite. I mean painfully shy but once he started to warm up he would try break out of his shell and crack a conversation. I think a competition like this might actually help make this man into a fine role model for South African Gay Guys.




Karl-Heinz Michel, not a word. I did notice him as he has this larger than life smile and is pretty tall but I did not get to talk to him besides a random hello as we passed one another.





Francois Nel, I actually did not even notice this guy until the last night which is very surprising because he is one seriously beautiful man. Hottest body by far. But like green in a garden he just blended in with the surroundings. I mean green is the best part of a garden but the flowers are what really get noticed... personally I love green.



Barry Meyer, very determined guy. He has his head screwed on exactly the way he wants it. I think he is a very strong person and has the ability to surprise but at times I thought his whole persona might just be a show seeing that he is a very clever young man and perhaps very shy, yet hidden well. I always say fake it till you can make it.



Prince Mkhize, he was actually completely dismissive the first time I met him and then continued to play it shy which I found completely odd, his whole demur screams of cocky self confidence.





Ernest M Gravett, this one is a real real cutie. In my opinion he has the most beautiful face I have ever seen. Love his doe eyes, love the stubble, cute grin, it all works for him. He is very polite. Sharp with his wit so here again I doubt his sincerity with how he talks to people as I know he has the intuition to play a table, bending any conversation to his advantage.







Jared Lee Smit, very beautiful boy but the operative word being boy. I think maybe if he were just 4 years older he would cream this competition but he's not and his nativity shines very bright.





Shannon Masilo Rex, did not get the chance to meet him.

Dustin Carr, he has a personality that is absolutely amazing. Friendly to the max with this delightful chuckle every once and a while as talks to you. Very confident but with a great self esteem which feels like he isn't hiding anything. If he were a little bit taller he would walk home with the title but lets face it, short guys just don't stand out on a stage as well as tall guys. But I am totally shouting for the short guy!


André Lammers I feel I had an instant connection with him. I would totally hang out with him, invite him to dinner parties and go on a vacation... he is someone I would want to call my friend, totally awesome guy. His conversation was less that of wit and more of insight. He held my attention when he spoke and when I asked him question some of the other boys dared not answer he gave me a very frank answer. He is one to be admired.



I guess I liked the guys that tried to talk to me more than the ones I had to make the effort to talk to.
I wish them all good luck though.

Till next time!

'P'

Project, project, project. Its like a hobby, in fact it is a hobby. What is yours? Everyone needs one. Something that gives you allocated time to spend with yourself, not watching TV, not reading, actually doing something...decoupaging a cupboard, building furniture, collecting butterflies and pining them in a book, whatever interests you. I am a gardener at the moment, by moment I mean it changes, who gardens in winter? So with spring in the air and summer rolling on in its the perfect time to get ones fingers dirty. I got into a courtyard at our entrance. Decided I wanted some kind of Villa feel and not necessarily a Mediterranean one but ones that they have in the quiet little towns of the Karoo.

Throw in some jasmine - star, Chinese, Carolina. Splash the floor with some petunias and squeeze in some ivy. Two rose bushes here, and a fern there. Bougainvillea ready to go and the spray of colours ignite from the suns overwhelming and relentless shine. Its all looking great, time to move on.

So find something to keep your hands busy but more or less allow your mind to be a little free. With gardening you see, I get into pulling out all the weeds. Eventually I am so tuned into weeding the garden that I am not thinking about it but my mind is thinking about what I want, where am I going, what is a goal and do I have one? It asks all the philosophical questions that are fun to debate about in my head with myself. Its how I get to my decisions of the choices I make in life, by debating about it, in my head, while pulling out little irritating weeds.

Clear your head and fill it up with a whole new bag of questions.

Till next time, go outside and mow the lawn:-D

E!

It all starts with being able to do some simple exercises at home before we can graduate to iron man. Sit ups, push ups, jumpin jacks, all part of getting ones body back to a machine and not just a simple vessel which we use to get from restaurant to restaurant.


I love my bar bell and dumbbells... its the perfect little instrument to leave next to the bed so I can do a few reps throughout the day, plus I have to build these tiny little arms...no pecs no sex yo!







The bar is perfect to build the core which is by far the most important part to concentrate on as it builds strength, I mean there is nothing worse than looking like He-Man but not being able to hold someone up while you fuck their brains out. So build your core, it might not change the muscles that form the bases of delicious when we talk about a mans body...pecs, biceps, triceps and shoulders, but it will give you the strength to maintain positions you never thought possible.




My routine for strengthening my core include about 8 simple exercises with the golden rule of three reps per set. There are many exercise out there I find that the ones using weight work the best, I am not a skinny little dancing fairy here, pilates just wont cut it.


Here are some home style gym equip that helps out in a big way...


Till next time:-D

Corinne Bailey Rae - I'd Do It All Again (official video)

D...is just another craving?

So, drugs, well lets be honest, no body needs to tell you that they are a bad idea. Well just in case, its a bad idea. It really is, if for no other reason than that it is bad for your body. With that said I feel the need to say that you should do exactly what ever the fuck you want to do. I want to not, enough said.

Sex... well here is a little nugget. I thought for a moment that sex was controlling me however, after long debate I came to a lovely conclusion. I am just someone with a high sex drive. I have a viewpoint of it as if it is food, and I need it three times a day to keep me going. Trying to avoid sex makes me think about it more so how do I combat this in a healthy way...?

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Well this is about reconnecting with ones self! My Hint - No Movies, No magazines, No on lookers, just you! Try it.



















Well, with my naughtiest wanker grin, till next time.

D... the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

So, why would alcohol be such a huge problem in my life, I mean I can get trashed when I am partying which is often, maybe just stop partying? Well, you see I dont drink all the time, its not a case of brandy with my corn flakes and so it is not controlling or interfering with my life.

The answer is a personal one because as a person with epilepsy drinking creates a wider gap for a seizure to occur and not to mention that mixing booze and meds together is just plain old dangerously stupid. The booze binges would leave me completely emotional for three main reasons... 1, the alcohol does not mix with my medication. 2, the meds are to be taken specifically at 12 hour intervals which I dont do if I know I will be drinking. 3, I am already an emotional person.

I have not had a booze binge in 28 days but I have had one whiskey and water on three separate days. Even when I went out and had the ever delicious shot of tequila I hurled it right back up. My body is finally catching on that my days of swaying at a bar shooting back tequila shots off of a mans body are over.

My hint for curbing the booze a little - avoid shooters, they are the ones that jump up suddenly and scream "HEY, SURPRISE, YOU ARE DRUNK MO'FO!!" and nobody is attractive when they are plastered.

Till next time.

D.... it all starts with food.

So, I find it extremely difficult to just stop eating the junk I get use to eating and the craving overwhelms me. This whole little song and dance is actually quite taxing on my mind and on my sleep, when I start to dream of things I want to eat. My point is that food is still controlling me even if it is healthier choices. Plus I do not want to be one of those health folk who can only talk about health food and the beast way to cook an organic skinless chicken breast with broccoli and ginger sauce... I mean it has to be worse than talking about ones job, or the weather. Boring!

I need what I want to eat to flow sort of naturally. I begin with eating berries. Actually overloading on them. Breakfast, lunch, dessert, in between snacks. Fresh strawberries, cranberries and mulberries. They are high in Vit C and rich in blah blah blah....basically they are good for the brain. Its all high in glucose and gets the brain working at maximum efficiency. Plus cranberries are good for the flow of blood ergo no urine infections plus they aid in preventing testicular cancer. We must do what we can to keep our bits in pristine condition.

Time to grow a mulberry tree and a fair sized strawberry patch (you will need to plant about 50 to get a patch that will produce enough for a small family over the season).

And what you will notice after choosing a fruit that you enjoy eating and eat it regularly you will find yourself craving them, needing them, wanting them. Slowly the need to pop the packet of caramel covered popcorn will subside.

My hint for a better diet - dont subtract just add, add the good things, your body will find the balance.

Till next time.

D.E.P.O. - Intro

So, here is a little formula I have used since I was a little boy to combat the blues or try reconnecting with oneself.

D - Detox is by far the first order on the road to a brighter, better you. I need to cut out all things I do in excess that are not actually good for me however one in particular is not necessarily bad for me its just something I need to have control over instead of letting it control me. Drugs, alcohol, food and sex.

E - Exercise is step number two. Find a workout that works for you, being a short somewhat stocky guy with stick legs I have developed my own work out routine that best helps me look the way I want to with the natural body I was given. I enjoy looking lean and fairly ripped rather than all muscled up, I think it has something to do with making my legs fit my body and appear more in proportion.

P - Project! Find a hobby, something that most of your friends wont take an interest in, something you can devout your own time to, to spend it with yourself. It provides great clarity, to keep your hands busy and allow the thought process to run wild, it will allow you to answer your very own questions of what you want. I like gardening. I like to make things grow and I like to be outside, so it all works for me.

O - Obsession. Find something you can love that is inanimate. If you focus it on something alive say even a cat or dog you will have to care for it and this program is about yourself, nothing else.
So find something to buy and obsess about. I like engines and if I had the luxury I would throw some money towards a motorbike.

So, I am going to go in depth into each one of these categories so you can maybe pick up some good health tips, recommendations on quick and effective pieces of home gym equipment, and the perfect mulch for the right spots.

Till then...

miike snow "black & blue"

Tattoo Intro

I am totally getting into tattooed men. I love them all. As mine starts to grow I notice other guys tats more and more...
Here are a few pics to get a segment on tattoos and their hotness started!

Waldeck - Wake up - This gets me a little excited... down there!

A Quickie

So what happens when you have a swimming pool, a jacuzzi, slow salacious beats pounding to the throbbing of your main veins pulsation... I found myself running out of lube. Unfortunately I did not restock on the 10kg drum of Assegai because I was not planning an all men rock star party.

So here are some other house hold goods one can use if one has run out of Assegai:

1- Egg whites - it tends to get a little sticky and the smell is subtle but, hey, I can still smell it.
2- Jelly- make it a little thick, its quite a bit of fun if you enjoy eating
3- Natural, low fat, unflavoured yoghurt - works in the morning, you know, to perk you up for bacon and toast.

So my favourite was the jelly, you can make buckets of it in different flavours and have yourself a delicious little orgy.

What lube not to use?

Never use substances that contain any oils as lubricant for anal sex! Lubes that contain oils are a no-no for two reasons:

• Oil causes condoms to perish – they become weak and are far more likely to break, and
  
• Oils remain inside your anus where they go rancid (bad) and collect bacteria and dirt. Gross!
  

Here are some examples:

• Vaseline
  
• Body lotion
  
• Hand cream
  
• Cooking oil
  
• Butter
  
• Margarine
  
• Baby oil
  
• Olive oil
  
• Aqueous cream
  
• Hair conditioner
  
• Hair gel or hair food

Some people use spit as lube, its not recommended, although it doesn’t contain oils it is not slippery enough and can make sex uncomfortable and cause a condom to tear.

Obviously you must never, ever use semen (cum) or pre-cum as lube! Remember that HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are spread through semen and pre-cum!

Till next time

Happy Hunting!

Photos: Fetish Ball

Found these on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=3323510&id=656542230#!/album.php?aid=2049603&id=1657906613&ref=mf

La Roux - In For The Kill (Louis Philippe DnB Mix)

PAG - THE LADY IS DEAD (song by: THE IRREPRESSIBLES - "IN THIS SHIRT")

We All Have Dads!

How did I get back to my home town, a place I vowed never to return to, a town that beat down every little naturally gay gesture to the point that I make conscious decisions about how I act in public, how my hands move, how soft my voice is yet with the same breath I am so thankful for the man I have become large part because I grew up in the small town of Springs, South Africa. Is it a mining town or a farmers town? Are we an English town or Afrikaans? We stand confused on a scarcely busy Nigel Road that is decked out with Palm trees from town to Northern Suburbs and wonder what is this place?



It was a boiling hot day in Cape Town when I got the call... "Juanne, your dad has stage four cancer". My mind went blank while trying to soak up the information that my dad has been showing symptoms of an illness for two years and only now they diagnose him with cancer... and just for anyone out there that knew as little as I did, Stage 4 is like really really bad. The cancer is in ones blood stream at this point and it is slowly spreading to the rest of the body.


So I packed my car and drove the 1400km back home. The chemo left my dad weak so I came home to help him run his business and just add some moral support. It was late Autumn so the garden was looking good still. We have this small court yard at the entrance of our home where my dad had actually built his own Koi pond from scratch. I decided to get my green fingers to work. My train of thought was if maybe I get stuff to grow around a feature in the garden that has life maybe it will just give my dad the extra mental boost he needs to want to live or at least fight to live.

It was a matter of days before I rushed him to the hospital and as he sat in the back seat extremely hesitant to get out of the car I caught a look in his eyes I have never seen before, of fear. He looked up at me as if he knew this is going to be the last time he gets out of this car. My heart cracked down the middle like frost splitting cold, hard rock in two. I had to encourage my dad to get out the car and go into the hospital when all I wanted to do was race him to the sea. Sit with him and watch the sunrise over the Indian ocean one last time.

A few days later I went into hospital. I was down playing a stomach ache when suddenly it dawned on me it could be my appendix and it could end potentially fatal if I don't have it removed. While I was being tortured in the Springs Parkland Hospital my dad slipped away...

I immediately wanted to leave the hospital that very morning and as I stepped outside I felt the freezing cold air burn my face. It was the night of the black frost. Everything died. Every plant around the pond was dead, life seemed to stop. I was surrounded with death, a black, bitter and icy death.

I told him as often as I could that I loved him, way before The Big C! I spent as much time as I could with him but no matter how you spent the past when the future is no more the pain is the same. It takes its toll not only on the person with cancer but everyone around that person. One thing, its a fighter and you HAVE TO FUCKING FIGHT BACK!

Drum and Bass...Oos Rand se Kant

So, I am back in the East Rand, well Far East Rand to be exact and in the need to take a step back from all the all gay activities I have been so prone to attend I decided to hit a little whole in the wall called Black Dahlia. I went on a Thursday night because they host some DJs from a crew called Buttjigga that pound some Drum and Bass. I love Drum and Bass! I find it really really sexy some times to hear a different beat to move my hips to.



Now when I arrived a heavy metal band was playing. They were alright, a little juvenile in their approach to rock but I liked their style. Eventually it was time for the DJ's to play their set and naturally I was on the dance floor Jigga'ing my Butt! Very confidently the lead singer of the band is dancing right up in my space. At first I was a little weird ed out that I was so aggressively chased but being a man it only lasted a second before I thought "Damn, this is HOT!"



Needless to say that I was totally surprised to be hooking up with a hottie in a place that sold Wellington Brandy by the gallons... although Wellingtons is probably the reason I had a kiss and a tickle in a some what less than desirable toilet cubicle. Oh well, all in the name of HOT.



I am looking forward to this Thursday, lets see what Boksburg has to offer me.

Till next time.
Happy Hunting!

The season changes...

So, as spring approaches I feel the itch start of what is a season of partying, drug induced, outside in the sun surrounded with plants, festival, sex in tents fun partying! Lets just test the waters with a small little fetish party in Selby Johannesburg before I graduate to full festival swing.


Now Citrus Lounge is a very awesome venue with all its circles, the dance floor could stand to be a bit darker especially when Mark Stent's set is dark house and banging away. The music was awesome! That mans body is so awesome behind decks and when you feel the rush through your veins his music set vibrates the bones that holds you all together. Fantastic!


The crowd were fairly responsive to the whole fetish, fantasy idea. I think the whole thing would work better if the Jozzie boys will get over their insecurities and just slip into something a little bit sexier or fun for the event. Show those tattoos, bare some flesh, strap yourself into a harness or just drag it up if all else fails. I always try show flesh but this winter has been unkind to me so the party had to settle with me showing off only enough shoulder to see my tattoo and only enough chest remembering to keep the nurple-that's 'turned on nipple'-nurple, covered.

The party was a Kinx party, I remember Kinx from my film school days where on occasion I would need some leather paraphernalia or a big black dildo or even just when I wanted to look at a really hot man, I would go over to Kinx for a peak.


It was a good start to a season that promises to be filled with golden showers and morning glories...
Till next time
Happy hunting and good gardening!